Dear Diary,
I have another Rituxan treatment tomorrow (my second one). I am really hoping this helps and that I can taper off of the 60 mg daily of prednisone that I am on. Prednisone is not good for me. It makes me hungry (and I have gained weight), it gives me sleepless nights( or at least not restful ones), and it makes me nervous with a jumpy stomach. Last week, the Rituxan gave me a headache and wiped me out for a day, but that was it. I was glad not to have had any allergic reactions to it. The headache was more like pressure in the head like when your on an airplane and your ears won't pop, but you wish they would.
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| From Pinterest |
I have to say, Diary, that being in the Chemo room to get my treatment with with all the cancer patients was so sad. Last week, I just wanted to cry because this elderly lady was crying to the nurse about her hard life, and I just wanted to wave a magic wand and make things better for her. Bless her heart. And the nurse was wonderful. She held the lady's hand and listened. And sometimes, I think that's just what we all need . Someone to hold our hand and listen, and sometimes to admit that yes, you have been dealt a shitty hand, but we just have to focus on all the positives we can.
And there was also a little old lady who asked me my name and told me that she would pray for me. I'm not a religious person, but I thanked her. Hey, I thought, I'll take what I can get. And I couldn't help but think about the song lyrics..." Human Kindness is overflowing, and I think it's gonna rain today..." I saw a lot of kindness last week, and I was the recipient of some of it. And I was thankful.
And I also felt bad, because I was happy, too, that I don't have cancer. And I felt a little guilty.
So, treatment #2 tomorrow.
I want to get better, so bring it on !
Hopeful,
~Me
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